Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Behind a splashed door..

A layer of splashed water drops cover the mirror in my bathroom.Cold drops penetrate my skin like tiny bullets.The rhythm of water dancing on the floor creates a blanket of soothing sound that envelopes me,muffling the chaotic noises of our house.Tension in my back that I didn't even know existed..oozes out of my pores,and down my body in cascading litte streams.I breathe a mist of scented shampoo and dove soap..a welcome change from the polluted weather outside.

In the shower I'm alone.No younger sister barging into my room unexpectedly,no shrill ringing of the telephone and unwanted voices across,no parents nagging.
The ceramic tiles in my bathroom have perfect co-ordination that transform my shower into a romantic dream.The cubicle changes into a concert hall,as I sing my heart out on a shampoo-bottle microphone.In my shower..I'm free.I can make all my dreams come true.I can be a celebrity..flashing a smile at the camera or a writer..signing out autographed copies of her latest book...

Sometimes,I sit in the shower and cry.My salty tears mingling with the waterdrops upon my face..until even I can no longer tell them apart.I cried when I realise I knew nothing of my exams next week..I cried when S left..I cried when R and I stopped talking once..I cried the inevitable tears after watching 'stepmom' again,for the nth time.And sometimes I cry out of sheer reasonless frustration.Within these walls I can cry..and my tears are washed away,unseen and unknown.

The waterdrops that fall from my showerhead are not normal H2O molecules.They have the magical power to activate my neurons.It amazes me to realise how many of these posts originated in the shower!
This daily ritual lets my mind go free.To catch and reflect thoughts that drift over my mind,before they vanish like the flashes of fireflies.I know I have a tendency to deplete the house supply of water,much to the annoyance of the rest of my family.But my shower is just too inportant for mr to care.It is a pocket of time away from the franctic deadlines,numerous places to be and things to do.It is a chance to reflect and enjoy...a welcome bit of friction to slow down a hectic day.

The water that flows down in spirals beneath my feet and down the drain,cleanses not only my body,but my mind and soul...leaving behind the bare essence....that is me.

Blue

I'm not just blue.. but very deep blue..whatever that means.And this time it's not reasonless like the bouts I regularly go through..

1. I messed up big time in my University finals.I'm doomed.

2. Now,that my exams are over..I have nothing to do.College is over.

3. I just had a haircut yesterday,which was looking pretty good then..but now I look like a lion with a bushy mane.

4. S left for training yesterday.So there'll just be rare one minute calls now for the whole of two months!(That's for the whole of my post-exam break)Stupid Vodafone roaming costs!!I'm missing him already:(

5. I'm not getting any comments on this blog...BECAUSE I'm not writing anything!! I just can't! (writer's block or whatever it's called)

AND I have no idea why I'm writing all this!! Let me just go and sulk...